i really felt disheartened these past days.. i seldom talk or at most i dont talk at all.. i know the root of this feeling is just too shallow compared to others who really have a serious heart weakening encounters with other people.. i grew up like this and words are so meaningful to me.. my mood and spirit are easily influenced by words i hear.. i’ve mentioned from my earlier post that a very simple appreciation really means a lot to me and a simple negative word can cause me hatred.. that’s how shallow i am yet so deep.. how contradictory those words are, shallow yet deep?! a bit confusing, right? anyway, im all alone and i dont have anybody to cheer me up these lonely days i have.. even though i can feel my insignificant existence to some people dear to me, i want to gain some spirit to view the brighter side of me.. i kept this sheet of paper where my friends have written some words of appreciation, thank you’s, encouragement; this was actually written during our class retreat.. this somehow has the ability to cheer me up, i feel my importance in their life, i feel as if i have done something good in their life, i feel as if i have left a mark and happy memories in their life, i feel as if i really am an important part of their life. its good they appreciated my existence in their life even though we’re stil young then.. i will forever treasure this one and will always mean so much to me.. i miss those mem’ries with you guys, and thanks for sharing your journey with me..
June 16, 2008 at 3:04 pm
el-em, you expressed yoursef here with all your honesty and sincerity. that’s what matters because you become more aware of yourself. awareness is the avenue to transformation. by the way, you write very well in a simple manner that there is “heart” in it. take care now and God be with you always with His Angels…