the reality before will never be a reality today

how i miss the times we talk, we laugh, we argue, we kid-fight.. its been 6 years when i last hear you say “hi”, “hello”, “musta?”, “have you eaten?” and of course how would i forget, those jokes that made me mad and made me laugh.. all your actions don’t mean anything to me then, i didn’t even get to realize how you treat me differently compared to others.. until now that you’re too impossible to reach.. i heard you’ve been through a lot of relationships, who would reject a man with character, very good-looking and ideal guy like you?! lol.. sometimes i want to regret for giving you reasons to give up and let me go.. im so immature that i did not even acknowledge your presence everytime we meet.. the reality before will no longer be a reality today.. bringing back the old days is just an illusion! it will forever remain a memory, just memory, a memory of regret! its only now that i understand the treatment you showed me, im too naive to never felt what you want me to feel.. thanks to your friends who made me realize all those things! can’t do anything now, atleast, once in your life, i occupied your mind.. hehe.. anyway, have a happy journey in your life! stay as the man of character as you are!

 

forever be treasured

i really felt disheartened these past days.. i seldom talk or at most i dont talk at all.. i know the root of this feeling is just too shallow compared to others who really have a serious heart weakening encounters with other people.. i grew up like this and words are so meaningful to me.. my mood and spirit are easily influenced by words i hear.. i’ve mentioned from my earlier post that a very simple appreciation really means a lot to me and a simple negative word can cause me hatred.. that’s how shallow i am yet so deep.. how contradictory those words are, shallow yet deep?! a bit confusing, right? anyway, im all alone and i dont have anybody to cheer me up these lonely days i have.. even though i can feel my insignificant existence to some people dear to me, i want to gain some spirit to view the brighter side of me.. i kept this sheet of paper where my friends have written some words of appreciation, thank you’s, encouragement; this was actually written during our class retreat.. this somehow has the ability to cheer me up, i feel my importance in their life, i feel as if i have done something good in their life, i feel as if i have left a mark and happy memories in their life, i feel as if i really am an important part of their life. its good they appreciated my existence in their life even though we’re stil young then.. i will forever treasure this one and will always mean so much to me.. i miss those mem’ries with you guys, and thanks for sharing your journey with me..